Conflicted Thoughts
by T.W. Cat
Summary: Mouri breaks down in front of Chosokabe right before Chosokabe avenges the death of his men. Slight BL.


**Conflicted Thoughts  
****Sengoku Basara © Capcom  
Story © T.W. Cat**

_[Set in Motochika's last battle in his Green Route, where he battles Motonari Mouri in revenge for his fallen comrades]_

Motochika thought he should be enraged. That he should be furious and he should beat up the man before him mercilessly, torturing him severely to no ends and then killing him off brutally with his anchor before sending him to the depths of the sea where his fallen brothers would rip apart his body until eternity.

Instead, he felt distress. The flame of hatred inside of him had gradually disappeared as the battle between him and that man prolonged. Motochika could also sense it, that his opponent was growing restless and losing interest in this fight. Not to say that he was bored or annoyed, but his opponent simply lost the will to go on.

It had gone to the point Motochika could knock off his circular weapon far too easily and slammed down the man to the ground. There, lying under his foot was none other than Motonari Mouri, the Lord of Aki, staring back at him. The same Motonari that had cruelly massacred his brothers whilst holding the Tokugawa flags. He was a despicable strategist who shows no compassion in his own men, sacrificing them all mercilessly for the sake of his own ambitions. Even now, the man had thrown away his allies for his own ambitions.

Yett Motochika hesitated.

He couldn't bring himself to force his anchor into the heart of this cruel heartless bastard.

Because he saw nothing.

There was no usual irk inside those eyes of Motonari that the pirate expected. Not even a sign of anger or desperation or anything else. It was simply empty. He had fought countless battles with him and there was always this flair in the brunette's eyes that always drove him to the edge, firing up his passion for battle. That flair was gone to, along with Motochika's resolve to avenge his fallen brothers.

"Why are you hesitating, you fool? Or are you waiting for me to kick you off so I may kill you instead?" The man spoke all too emotionlessly in his monotone way. Motonari's stubborn pride seemed to have remained, even when he was lying down under his enemy. Usually, the pirate would laugh it off and pester him more, but right now, it irked him. He silenced the strategist by pressuring down his foot. Motonari gave out an angst groan, but nothing more and continued to look at the pirate. "Well? If this is how you're going to torture me, then this is one of the most incompetent and absurd ways."

Though he remained prideful, there was still something too different compared to the Motonari he had loved sparring with. The man would never remain on the ground, getting stomped on so easily. The Motonari he knew would at least try his best to free himself. At most, he would have said it was part of his calculations to fall like that and then some random trap of his would befall upon the pirate. Instead, Motonari remained there still.

"You have given up too easily, Mouri! This is not what I expected from the likes of you!"

Motonari blinked at him back before he sighed. "Of course, I have given up. There are no other possible options to play." Slowly, he pushed himself up. He was aware of how Motochika was glowering at him when he did so, but Motonari snorted. "I am weaponless, you fool. And if you were smart enough, you could calculate that I would lose in a brawl with a barbarian like you."

So when Motonari said that, it gave enough reason for the pirate to step off the man and let him stand to state his reason for his ill actions of giving up. But it didn't mean that Motochika had let his guard down. He kept his anchor near him, and he kept Motonari in the range of his swings. Maybe this was another of that psychological what-not that Motonari enjoyed doing, torturing him mentally. Well, he won't fall for that so easily.

It surprised the pirate, however, when he saw the strategist look up into the sky. Then again, Motonari had this weird obsession with the sun so he shouldn't be surprised at all if the man started to ask that inanimate object for blessings or anything of the sort.

"… No matter how much I ask the sun to shine upon me, it will never be hot enough…"

Motochika was now dumbfounded, looking at the Lord of Aki gazing blankly at the ball of fire in the sky.

"Your words, they were simply heinous. I could not make sense in them because of how idiotic you had put it." By this point, the pirate was pressing his nails deep into the handle of his anchor, holding back the desire to finish of this man. Motonari, on the other hand, remained indifferent and continued, "But I will not deny the fact that it had affected my mind."

This was something new to Motochika. No matter what nonsense the pirate spewed into the strategist's ears, whether it was something as silly as name callings or as serious as a fire outbreak in the forests of Aki that could be seen from his home, Motonari was too proud to listen to the likes of him, let alone let a few words in to his heart. To think that strategist had actually done the opposite this time was making the pirate feel uneasy.

His guts churned uncomfortably. This was not the Motonari he was so used to, that he had pestered endlessly and kicked around. It was not the Motonari who could outsmart him with his complex calculations so easily and imprison him effortlessly. It wasn't even the Motonari who had heartlessly sent a thousand men sinking into the depths of the sea using the Tokugawa flags and left his only allies, Mitsunari and Yoshitsugu, to just die off in the hands of his enemy.

In some sense, it frightened the man that this wasn't the Motonari he knew of.

The strategist then looked into the pirate's eyes. Motochika jolted.

They were still nothing inside them. They were empty. They were void of any signs of life.

"The reason I long for the sun is because I thought it would be hot enough to stop this coldness inside of me. Silly, isn't it? That the great Motonari Mouri would have such a childish ambition?" Motonari chuckled even though there was no hints of humor in his tone. "Every time I see you in that little island of yours, I regret to say this, but I actually feel envious. I envy that you looked so cheerful and carefree under the sun. You seemed so warm and at ease."

The pirate had loosened his grip unintentionally, watching Motonari speak so miserably, eyes gazing down onto himself now. The strategist had even started shivering ever so slightly – it was only the light rattling of his armor did Motochika notice it.

"I had thought maybe if I took over Chugoku and ensuring the Mouri Clan would prosper in the many centuries to come, I would be able to sit back like you would. Maybe then I would feel relieved enough to feel the sun's warmth shining on me. And maybe then, this coldness inside of me would melt and disappear. But each time I advanced, you would prevent me from going any further, wasting my resources and killing time by creating havoc for me. I grew to despise you, you know."

"Yet this battle had enlightened me. Your words enlightened me. All this time, I've never really longed for the sun, but instead I wanted someone," Motonari looked up to him once more, this time with such a twisted smile. It screwed the guts of the pirate just staring at how the strategist had fallen. "I just needed someone to fill me with warmth inside of me."

"Mouri…" It tortured the pirate inside, witnessing how the mighty Lord of Aki crumbling gradually into a helpless, broken state. He thought the man was powerful enough, creating walls around him that were unbreakable and impenetrable. He thought that even if Motonari's walls were to fall, he would still be a strong, stubborn bastard he was. Instead, all he saw was a weak and fragile, childlike person, trembling in his own fears he had made himself.

"I had realized that all this time, you had been so happy-go-lucky because those soldiers of yours weren't simply sacrificial pawns, but your brothers. You had them adoring you and respecting you. Whilst my own would only respect me and keep an obvious distance from me. When I see you cheerfully playing with Tokugawa, I was enraged at how closely linked the both of you were. I do not even have a single person to even talk to so casually…"

"For the first time, Chosokabe, you are right. I am but a lonely soul." Motonari smiled as he took a step forward to the pirate, reaching out to the anchor's blade. "And this loneliness will continue to torture me to eternity and maybe beyond that."

"No one can know that! There's always a chance that someone would extend their hand to-"

"Motochika." The pirate was silenced immediately when Motonari had called out his first name without the honorifics so suddenly. The strategist had then pressed the tip of the anchor onto his neck. "Without hesitation…"

"No." Motochika shook his head, unwilling to murder his rival. After hearing the man's story, who wouldn't feel the least sympathy for him? Who wouldn't want to at least try to heal the man who had been suffering for so long? Who wouldn't want to comfort him, telling him it was alright and it wasn't his fault in the first place? That there was still someone out there, waiting for her (or his) chance to tell him their love?

There was still him, Motochika Chosokabe.

Weren't they both an _'odd couple'_? They both annoyed each other to the ends of the world, but they would still put up with one another. That's the exact reason the both of them were still alive after countless campaigns against one another (he would compare this relationship with the one Ieyasu and Mitsunari had).

All those times, they both had the strength to kill off one another – Motonari had his skills in strategizing a proper all-out assault on the demon's ships and Motochika had the brute strength to tear down the sun worshipper's castle. Yet they've never did attempted to do so. Unconsciously, they saw the other's existence as an unwanted but needed one.

Well, it only seemed apparent now to Motochika. If he killed of Motonari now, where would that leave him? He needed Motonari to be there, despite knowing that he'll just get insulted numerous times. Motonari was, no matter how much he denied, was an unexplainable piece that fits in the jigsaw puzzle that was his heart.

"Motochika…" This time the pirate shivered, hearing his name whispered to him with longing, as if begging him so desperately.

"But.."

"The Motochika I know of doesn't change his course once he has chosen on," Motonari chuckled dryly, running his fingers on the edge of the anchor's blade. Blood smeared both the blade and the pale fingers of the man. A devilish smirk now appeared on the man. "Will you fulfill your revenge? For your _'brothers'_? Or will you deny yourself and let me live?"

"Th-! You're fucking with me?! Aren't you?!" The pirate roared when he saw that smirk, tempted to pierce his anchor through the man's neck. He could see the blood trail southwards, coming out In a plentiful amount. The only thing that stopped him was that he actually did see blood dripping downwards.

Motonari had pressed himself into the blade, showing no signs of fear to his suicidal act. "I do not joke, Motochika. You of all people know that."

"Then this is a fucking serious matter-"

"Please… Motochika…" Motonari begged once more, pushing himself slightly. His wound was growing now with more blood spilling than he could ever imagine. "You said it yourself. You will forget me, so why hesitaite?"

Sometimes, Motochika regretted his choice of words. But that wasn't a time to regret. The mass murderer of his men stood right in front of him because he had suffered a lonesome ordeal in life because he wished for the carefree life the pirate lived and was now slowly bleeding to his death.

Would he regret his choice of action as well?

"Motochika… I... Like you..."


End file.
